Ten Tips for Surviving a Writers Conference as an Introvert

by Mollie Hunt, Cat Writer
Whether we’re giving a reading to a small club or attending a huge conference, these occasions can feel more arduous than facing a three-headed cat-dragon if one happens to be an introvert. Stage fright, claustrophobia, agoraphobia, anxiety, and just plain shyness are all triggered by events like these. Some people bask in the spotlight; others of us do not.

The Author/ Introvert Connection

Writers are notoriously known introverts. It makes sense. Who else would choose to hole themselves up alone in a room for hours on end immersed in one’s own thoughts and imaginings? When the other kids yell for us to come out and play, we shut the blinds and pretend we’re not there. When given a choice between going to a party or staying home, home wins out every time. When we do go to the party, we wind up talking to the cat. Sound familiar? That’s me, for sure.
Some people think introverts make better writers because they’re more aware of their surroundings, more at home in their heads. But writing is only half of a writer’s job. The other half is shameless self-promotion in the form of readings, presentations, author events, and conferences, all of which require taking our introverted little self out in public. What could be more alien or abhorrent to a true introvert than talking in front of the masses? Public speaking scares most people, but for an introvert, it’s a version of absolute hell.

“Writing is something you do alone. It’s a profession for introverts who want to tell you a story but don’t want to make eye contact while doing it.” —John Green

Good news!

Solutions exist, and no, it’s not imagining the audience naked. For me, it’s slipping on an alter ego, one that can withstand the rigors of crowds and confusion, one that isn’t the least bit bashful or shy.

Let me introduce you to CatWoman

CatWoman is part Wonder Woman, part Audrey Hepburn, part Hillary Clinton, part my mother, and part cat. She is smart, talkative, friendly, assertive, and sometimes a little bit loud. She is thick-skinned and cannot feel offended or hurt. These are her super-powers.
I first invented the CatWoman template years ago when I worked in the antique and collectible business, so I guess she’s part hawker as well. I needed her because, on my own, no one would notice me, let alone buy my wares. I used my high school acting experience to develop a persona that worked for the situation. Now I carry her into my writer’s life, not to sell stuff, but to sell myself.

Nine More Lives (Um, Tips!)

The world is a scary place. People may not like me. I may mess up and forget words. Things may screw up that are out of my control. I may spill coffee down the front of my dress. But whatever happens, CatWoman can deal with it. I have to believe in her, because otherwise I’d never leave my house. But establishing an alter ego is only one tool in my toolbox. Here are some others:

2. Find a safe place.

Even the most crowded convention center has somewhere out of the way where you can be relatively alone. Find it and establish it as your base camp. When you begin feeling anxious, go there. I always rent a room at a conference hotel and spend as much time there as necessary. That breather is often the difference between exhaustion and having a great time.

3. Take naps.

Speaking of exhaustion, cats have the answer. There’s nothing like a nap to revitalize your overwhelmed senses. Like rebooting your computer to refresh the operating system, a period of rest can do wonders. If you don’t have a room to retire to, as long as you don’t snore or drool, nothing’s wrong with taking a few nods in an out-of-the-way place.

4. You can’t do it all.

Especially with big conferences, often more happens on the schedule than any human can manage. Accept the fact that you may not be able to attend every lecture, participate in every workshop, listen to every presenter, plus go out and party with the group after the sessions. Get notes from friends about things you missed, and congratulate yourself for doing what you could.

5. Establish boundaries.

So you don’t like to sit with the group, you prefer not to eat in public, you can’t stand people who wear perfume, you don’t drink. Each one of us is different and has different likes and lifestyles. Doing what works for you while calmly establishing your boundaries is usually well-received and accepted.

6. Eat well.

Does the excitement of a conference ruin your appetite? Are you so busy you forget to eat? Is the event poorly planned with meals ignored in the schedule? Your well-being is up to you, and eating regularly is part of that. Keep something healthful like granola bars, nuts, or yogurt in your bag, and don’t feel afraid of eating in public. Eat when food is offered, whether you’re hungry or not; you don’t have to eat much. Most important, eat healthfully when you do eat.

7. Stay hydrated.

Most conferences have figured out humans need water, and thus provide it. If not, it’s easy enough to bring your own. Drink it! Dehydration can cause dizziness, unclear thinking, lack of energy, irritability, and more. And please remember that drinking twenty-seven cups of coffee doesn’t count as hydration.

8. Don’t penny-pinch.

You just spent big bucks on conference admission, a hotel, and airfare to get there. Factor in enough funds so you can do whatever you need to do without worrying about the cost. Yes, sometimes room service is required.

9. You are not alone.

If you’re feeling the tightness of the crowd closing in on you, look around. Chances are you’re not the only one. In fact, as I mentioned, many writers are introverts. Often if you put it out that you aren’t terribly comfortable in the situation, someone will agree with you, and then you have an instant ally. Chances are, you can do each other good.

10. Never apologize for being who you are.

It took me a long time to stop comparing myself to others. You know the ones— those self-assured, confident people with the winning smiles and a gregarious manner. But over time and after meeting and talking to those people, I found out something wonderful! They’re just like me. They have hopes and fears, strengths and weaknesses. They do their best, and so do I. Now I can admit my shortcomings without apologizing for them. Like Popeye says, “I am who I am..”
I hope some of these tips will help next time you face a public appearance. However distasteful, we need to get out there. Our stories are worth it, and so are we.

Mollie Hunt is the author of the Crazy Cat Lady cozy mystery series, featuring Portlander Lynley Cannon, a sixty-something cat-shelter volunteer who finds more trouble than a cat in catnip. The third in the series, Cat’s Paw, was a finalist for the 2016 Mystery & Mayhem Book Award, and the fifth, Cat Cafe, won the World’s Best Cat Litterary Award in 2019. Mollie is a member of the Cat Writers’ Association, and NIWA. She lives in Portland, Oregon, with her husband and a varying number of cats. Like Lynley, she is a grateful shelter volunteer.