by Bobbie Christmas
Q: I belong to a writer’s group, and every week we debate grammar and word usage rules, including the following:
- Using an extra “s” after the possessive form of a word that ends in “s” (I watched the Jones’s dog for them.).
- Using the word “said” in almost every sentence of dialogue
- Using commas in general: in a series or to set off introductory phrases, etc.
We get in heated debates over these issues. I’m aware that The Chicago Manual of Style is often used by book publishers, but others swear by The Elements of Style. Still others follow AP style. Rules have changed since I was in school. What rules should we follow?
A: Rules are one thing; guidelines are another. Each style has its own set of guidelines, and the information often conflicts among style manuals. One way to end the debates in your group is for all members to agree on what style manual the group will follow. Once you have a consensus on style, you can settle debates by checking the appropriate style book. The Associated Press style, set forth in AP Stylebook, is intended for magazines, newspapers, and other periodicals. If your group is writing fiction or nonfiction books, its members should refer to The Chicago Manual of Style (CMOS). Because I am a book editor, that’s the style I follow and the one I will use to answer your questions.
- The general CMOS rule (adding ’s to create a single possessive or adding an apostrophe to create a plural possessive) covers proper names as well as common names, including most names of any length ending in sibilants (s or sh sounds): Burns’s poems, Marx’s theories, Berlioz’s opera, the Rosses’ and the Williamses’ lands, General Nogu’s troops, Jefferson Davis’s home, Dickens’s novels, the Joneses’ reputation
- Overusing the word “said” is a creative-writing issue, but not a rule. Strong writing avoids repetition, so it avoids using “said” as the attribution in too many places. Reducing the volume of “saids” leads to stronger writing if handled correctly.
If only two characters are speaking, after the first person is identified either through action or attribution, readers usually know which one speaks, because each new person gets a new paragraph of dialogue. Look at the following example:
“Mary, please sit for a moment,” John said.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Do you hope to stay here? That is, do you like your job?”
“Yes.”
That example uses only one attribution, but the punctuation and format tell readers who is speaking after that, because only two people appear in the scene. Read on to learn of an even better way to attribute dialogue to specific characters.
Strong writing uses action for the attribution instead of the word “said” or its alternates, “responded, asked, answered, replied, remarked,” etc. Here is an example where action shows who speaks. Notice that the action also adds visual elements, making the scene more powerful.
“Mary, please sit a moment.” John stood in front of his desk and pointed to a chair.
Mary instead slumped across the overstuffed loveseat. Her wide eyes glanced up at him. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Do you hope to stay here? That is, do you like your job?” John leaned against his desk and tried to look casual. Behind him he gripped the edge of his desk, his knuckles turning white.
Mary inspected her fingernails. “Yes,” she mumbled.
Did you even notice that only one attribution is used throughout? Because of the added action, though, readers clearly see who speaking. Readers also get a hint at what is going on below the surface of the scene.
3. Answering the final question about commas in general requires a long list of guidelines from CMOS. I’ll get to the list in a minute. First note that in Chicago style, if the introductory phrase is short (say one to five words) no comma is used unless necessary for clarity.
CMOS says to use commas as follows:
- In a series. Red, white, and blue banners hung off the building.
- With equal adjectives. He spoke in a thoughtful, precise manner.
- With nonessential clauses and phrases. She mimicked her husband, David, often.
- The room, which had been painted, smelled of turpentine.
- With long introductory clauses and phrases. When he had tired of the pace of New York, he moved to Dubuque.
- With conjunctions. She was glad she looked, for a man was approaching the house.
- To introduce direct quotes. Wallace said, “She spent six months here.”
- At the end of a quote followed by an attribution instead of a period. “Rub my shoulders,” Martha said. Do not use a comma if the statement ends with a question mark or exclamation point. “Why should I?” he asked.
- With names of states and nations used with city names. His journey will take him from Dublin, Ireland, to Fargo, North Dakota.
- After yes and no. Yes, I will be there.
- In direct address. Mother, I will be home late. No, sir, I did not take it.
- Separating similar words. What the problem is, is not clear.
- To separate compound sentences. The dog jumped through the hoop, and the trainer rewarded her.
- In dates. Commas go after the day in a date and before the year; however, if only the month and year are used, no comma should separate the two. On June 15, 2011, I moved to France. In July 2012, I moved to England.
The Chicago Manual of Style 17th Edition changed its stance on commas in one case. It now says that generally no comma is needed when the adverbs too or either are used in the sense of “also.” I’ll take a bagel and some cream cheese too.
Obviously shifting opinions and style differences confuse writers, but one thing remains constant. It’s what I call the ABCs of strong writing: Always Be Clear. Critique groups help in that respect. If someone in your group misinterprets someone else’s sentence because of lack of punctuation, then add it. For example, I recently found the following sentence in a manuscript I was editing: “Saddle up Jeff, let’s go downtown.” As written the sentence means to put a saddle on Jeff. The correct and clear sentence goes like this: “Saddle up, Jeff; let’s go downtown.”
Bobbie Christmas, book editor, author of Write In Style: Use Your Computer to Improve Your Writing, and owner of Zebra Communications, will answer your questions, too. Send them to Bobbie@zebraeditor.com.