by Bobbie Christmas
Q: Why is using passive voice a no-no in fiction?
A: Voice, when it refers to the verbs in a sentence, shows whether the subject acts (active voice) or is acted on (passive voice).
Let me ensure that we understand the difference between past tense and passive voice. Past tense refers to verbs that indicate the action has already happened. Most novels are written in past tense, and they should be.
Examples of past tense:
- I tossed the newspaper onto the porch.
- John winked at Melissa.
Past tense, however, can also be in either active or passive voice. No wonder we’re confused.
Passive voice emphasizes the object of the action, rather than the person or thing that does the action. As a result, passive voice relies on weak verbs and wordy writing, neither of which leads to strong prose. Often the word by tips writers to the fact that the sentence is passive, rather than active.
Here’s an example of passive voice:
The silence in the room was observed by the speaker.
See how silence was the highlight of the sentence, rather than the speaker?
Active voice would recast the sentence this way:
The speaker observed the silence in the room.
The revised sentence has fewer words, and tight writing is strong writing. The active voice version of that example deleted a weak verb (was) and a preposition (by).
Here’s another example of passive voice:
The newspaper was tossed onto the porch.
In this example readers aren’t told who did the action. Such a ploy may be necessary now and then.
In active voice the sentence might read this way:
A boy on a bicycle tossed the newspaper onto the porch.
Creative writers spurn passive voice for multiple reasons. As I showed, passive voice often uses more words than necessary, sometimes fails to say who does the action, and relies on weak auxiliary verbs, such as forms of “to be.” Conversely, strong creative writing uses action verbs, keeps sentences tight, and shows the person or thing that does the action.
No rule demands that fiction writers never use passive voice, but strong writers know that passive voice goes against the guidelines for powerful prose. Passive voice has a place in writing, but strong writers use it only when necessary.
Weak, passive voice: The ball was thrown into the outfield by the pitcher.
Stronger, active voice: The pitcher threw the ball into the outfield.
Weak, passive voice: Reports were circulated to all participants.
Stronger, active voice: Management circulated reports to all participants.
Q: I’m always confused about when to use “who” and when to use “whom.” Is there an easy way to remember the answer?
A: Here’s my explanation from Purge Your Prose of Problems:
To determine whether to use “who” or “whom,” determine whether the word is the subject or the object.
Subject: Who refers to the person who is doing the action. Who said that? The boy who showed up was not the boy we summoned.
Object: Whom refers to the person to whom the action is done. To whom should I send this letter? Tell me whom to call.
Oddly dialogue that uses “whom,” even correctly, rarely sounds realistic. Many folks, even well-educated ones, don’t know when to use “whom.” For that reason, dialogue (not narrative) can misuse “who” for “whom,” and it may sound more realistic.
Q: What do you see in the future for journalism? Should I change my major?
A: No! Don’t give up! I majored in journalism too, although it was way back in the 1960s, when people often subscribed to one or more daily newspapers. Since then the market has changed, but the world will always need writers. Writing is everywhere! Take journalism and learn about writing, but don’t limit yourself to writing for print newspapers or print magazines. Writers today still have many ways to make a living with words.
In my early years my motto became “I’ll write anything for money.” As a result, for more than half a century I have made my living writing things as diverse as radio commercials, newspaper and magazine articles, print ads, brochure copy, web copy, advertorials, résumés, newsletters, company profiles, corporate communications, nonfiction books, and more.
Study journalism to learn how to write tight, compelling prose, but instead of defining yourself as a journalist, think of yourself as a writer, and you’ll be able to work in many places writing a wide variety of materials.
Bobbie Christmas, book editor, author of Write In Style: Use Your Computer to Improve Your Writing, and owner of Zebra Communications, will answer your questions, too. Send them to Bobbie@zebraeditor.com.